Monday, October 04, 2004

I Finally Picked Up My Useless Trade!

I finally picked up the useless trade that Jay has been going on at me to learn. I learned a valuable new skill this weekend. I can undress a women better than any man can. Work was dead on Saturday (which is unusual, given that people usually go shopping on Saturdays) and Danielle and I were bored out of all comprehension. We were getting a bunch of new stock in on Saturday night, so Mona (one of the managers) asked Danielle and I to undress the mannequins in the window. Well, to say that we had great fun doing this would be a rather enormous understatement. I undressed the first mannequin, and I was working on the second when I noticed it was wearing my EXACT outfit. I called Danielle over, and she came to see what I was yelling about and she saw me standing there with my arm around my mannquin twin. Undressing it was like undressing myself. Victoria said "now we know how men feel when they're undressing us!" Creepy. Enough said. Danielle and I then proceeded to dance with our mannequin twins across the front of the store. I only wish I had a rose between my teeth. And a camera.

Just when you thought mannequins couldn't get any more exciting, you were wrong. We then started to seductively undress the mannequins, and flash the customers as they walked past. One mannequin was wearing a suit with no shirt underneath, so I would hide behind said mannequin and open the suit jacket at random spontaneous intervals. Hilarity ensued. Needless to say, all this was a valuable learning experience. Next time I need to undress a woman, I will be able to show off my prowess, thanks to those fine mannequins at Jacob. LOL is all I have to say.

Completely unrelated, I really need to start turning my phone off at night. I went to bed at 9:30 last night, because I worked all weekend and was sick anyways. What time did I get to sleep? 1:3o. Thats right, 1:30. I had been laying in bed for about 40 minutes, and then at 10:15 my phone rings. I fully expected it to be Naz, so I was a little surprised to see that it was B-rad (or Dr. Looooove, or the Grant Mac Daddy if you prefer.) We had a good long chat, during which he told me he was planning to have sex on my dryer. I told him quite simply that noone shall defile my dryer but me, and if I am to ever walk in and catch him in the act, I shall be completely nonchalant and unembarrassed. I will then proceed to say "Brad, we talked about this, remember?" and the girl he's with will be alarmed and leave. All in all, the experience won't end well for Brad. So for all you hopefuls out sex on my dryer!

That being said, I think its about time to go and eat some soup. I enjoy soup with quite a hearty passion. Mmmm dear sweet soup...I shall post soon about Heather and I's adventures at Grant MacEwan with George Stroumboulopoulos on Thursday. Adios!


Blogger Heather S. said...

Ohhhh. George.

October 4, 2004 at 11:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it wrong that i'm aroused right now?


October 5, 2004 at 3:33 PM  

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